Real Mom Confession - Periods

Let's talk about periods. Not punctuation, that's a subject for another day. I'm talking about the monthly visit from Mother Nature. Those 5 pesky days where sneezing could ruin your day (and your favorite pair of panties). The time of the month that you are relieved to see and angry that it is has come yet again.

If you don't want to know or hear about periods, leave now. I will not be offended. Seriously, just close the page and come by for a few laughs on another day.

I HATE periods. I LOATHE periods. I cringe when my body starts to alert me of the unavoidable. It is seriously the worst week ever. My body changes. My mood changes. My face looks like a teenager going through puberty. Fortunately for me, instead of going through all these awful changes once a month, I arranged to instead receive the following text. Mother Nature was very understanding and accommodating in this request.

Okay, I didn't really get this text, but wouldn't it be nice if having a period were this easy?

I think that our bodies, as women, are remarkable. The ability to make a life, carry that life and give birth is truly special and something that I am so glad that I got to experience. I had one child and that's it for me. Hubby and I don't want anymore and have taken the necessary (non surgical) measures to avoid having anymore. Now, having said that, I think that us women should have the choice to send a termination letter to our lady parts once we are done (totally done and after having this discussion with your partner)

Mine would read as follows:

Dear Uterus,

Thank you for doing your job faithfully. You helped carry and protect a life. You sacrifice has not gone unnoticed. 

Your job is not done. You position is being terminated effective now. You and your friends, the Ovaries, will self destruct in 5 seconds. You are no longer required by this body.

Thank you again for your service,

Malynda 

Would you prefer a monthly text (at no charge) or would you go the termination letter route?

Xoxo,

Mac